ODoyle (User)
Senior Poster
Posts: 48
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Re:First eye done. 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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Just wait until you hold your first bright Brookie or Rainbow after having both eyes done. Talk about your all time great color combinations...
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Betty (User)
Expert Poster
Posts: 151
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Re:First eye done. 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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Hi Ed:
It'll be a while yet (I think) before this will happen for me. But when it does, I won't worry about it at all now----I've heard it's kind of a miracle, and it sounds like your experience falls into that category. Hooray for color! Really glad it all worked out so well.
Betty
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Outstanding! 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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Ed,
The Shepherd is glad to hear your eye surgery went well and that your vision has improved considerably young man! The Shepherd hopes that the left eye surgery goes as well as the first eye.
The Shepherd has also had these types of communication breakdowns when it comes to forgoing the essentials (food, water, booze) with doctors. Doctors you see, are VERY busy sheeople and sometimes fail to properly imform their patients of what is required. The Shepherd has found in these cases, it is imparative for the patient to stress to the doctor just how important maintaining communication of this nature is to said patient. The Living Legend has been able to determine that a swift kick to the 'nads delivered with no warning and no remorse, is usually more than enough to eliminate the potential for just this type of doctor-patient communication SNAFU!
The Shepherd
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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Re:First eye done. 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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Shep,
No doubt about your correctness. I'll be sure to kick the doctor in a sensitive place just before he operates on my eye with a very sharp knife.......
Great Idea!!! That way he won't be worrying about screwing up my eye.  |
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Tight Lines,
Ed K
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El Rey (User)
Expert Poster
Posts: 128
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Re:First eye done. 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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Shep,
No, no, no!!! You do not ever want to insult, anger, enrage, injure, disrepect, or hurt a doctor (however much he may deserve it) who is about to cut you open with a sharp instrument.
After the surgery you may do to him as you please. Their egos usually need to be deflated.
For your sake, I hope you don't really practice what you preach.
Cheers,
El Rey
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No! No! No! 15 Years, 5 Months ago
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H,
You and Ed are looking at this all wrong young man, and yes, the Shepherd does indeed practice what he preaches!
The Shepherd was recently entrusted with helping several crews of maintenance sheeople find ways to improve their efficiency at work. A quick perusal of the crews "Wrench on Bolt" time reports ("Wrench on Bolt" is an engineering term used to describe what percentage of a maintenance sheeople's time is actually spent fixing shit that's broken and conducting preventative maintenance on stuff that's not) revealed to the Shepherd what the problem at hand, or in this case, at foot, was. The Shepherd assembled said crews together for a meeting to correct this performance issue. The Shepherd then explained to said crews that abysmal "Wrench to Bolt" times of 25-30% were simply unacceptable even for government employees. Naturally the excuses immediately started flowing like water to the sea........ "...Senor Shepherd, sometimes we drive all the way out to the field and realize that we don't have the right tools or the parts to fix the problem and driving all the way back to get 'em takes time...." "...If we didn't have to spend all that time documenting what we're doing and what the problems with the assets are, we'd have more time to fix broken shit....." yada, yada, yada.
The Shepherd then informed said crews that he wasn't buying the BS they were selling, and that swift kicks to the 'nads would be administered daily, until the "Wrench on Bolt" times rose to an acceptable level because the real reason their "Wrench on Bolt" times were so goddamned low was simply because their "Hand on Dick" times were too friggin' high!
"You can't hold us accountable for our productivity, we're government employees!"
"You can't run around kicking us in the 'nads, we're government employees!"
"You can't make do what we don't wanna do, we're government employees!"
Wrong, wrong and wrong AND..... there was no more of this disillusioned, disbelief amongst the rest of the maintenance sheeople who were left helping their designated spokesman back to his feet as he was clutching his groin and gasping for breath. "Wrench on Bolt" time has more than doubled! There's no doubt those crews would like to go back to spending 50+ percent of their time on the job parked under a tree, eating donuts while checking out the latest issues of Juggs and Swank magazine.... and no doubt Ed's doctor would like nothing better than for his patients to allow him to show up at the office and fly around on autopilot all day long, taking no time to communicate with anyone to shortening the average "per patient visit" so he can move his tee-time up.
Bottom line is IF you settle for mediocre performance you get mediocre performance. You show your willing to kick someone in the balls if they screw up, and you get consumate professionalism young man! Consumate professionalism!
There's few things short of cancer, that a well placed, swift kick to the 'nads will not cure!
The Shepherd
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****** News Flash*****
The Shepherd is currently offering the Sheeople of this flock a chance to enroll in the Shepherd's Character Building course! For the small, nominal fee of $750 dollars, the Shepherd will travel to the Norcal location of your chosing, on a day and time that is convenient for you. Upon your arrival, the Shepherd will glove up and proceed to kick your ass up one side and down the other! Your asswhipping is guaranteed to include all of the following elements: cuts, abrasions, contusions, severe trama induced facial swelling, blackeyes, a fatlip or two, and significant but not life threatening blood loss! As a special bonus, you asswhipping may include the following: minor to medium severity concussions, a broken nose, bruised orbitals, califlower ear, and other assorted medium severity injuries. The Shepherd similarly guarantees that your asswhipping will NOT result in the following: broken limbs, fractured ribs, skull fractures, severe brain damage, or any other injuries that can be considered life threatening or altering, or that require prolonged medical treatment. However, if at any time during your asswhipping you elect to fight back, no such guarantee shall be given. Your whipping shall conclude with the landing of a flush power shot delivered with full leverage! This 'finishing touch' is likewise guaranteed to knock you into the middle of next week and render you into a perfect state of unconsciousness or your money back! Members of the flock whom the Shepherd is not fond of will qualify for a 50% discount!
"If it doesn't kill you, it serves to make you stronger" -The Shepherd
"The Trinity Dam Project will not result in the diversion of a single, solitary bucket of water."- Clair Engle, Former Senator, Crossdresser, Revisionist
"You should never trust a dude named after a chick!"- The Shepherd, Purveyor of the Truth, Angler extraordinaire, Living Legend
"Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another revisionist in the night!- Bruce Springsteen
"Tell me about those early rounds. When you were coming out what did you want to establish and prove in those first few rounds?" -Larry Merchant
"Establish who was gonna be the boss. There can only be one boss in here. I am the boss. This is my house. I live here."- Marlon Starling
"When the Shepherd talks, everybody listens!" E. F. Hutton
The Shepherd is also starting a hedge fund where members of the Shepherd's flock will be guaranteed a 25% annual rate of return! For more information about how you can become a member of the Shepherd's select flock, please send an e-mail containing all your account numbers to: Boatloadsofcash4theshepherd@fleecingofthesheeople.com
"....Yes we can!...."- Osama Obama, President, Eternal optimist and Harbinger of the Imminent Financial Doom!
"....No you can't!...." - The Shepherd, Prince of Economic Prognostication
"The S&P 500 shall come to be known as the S&P 300 by the end of 2009." -The Shepherd
"Citi and Morgan Stanley shall become one and merge into an offspring known as 'City Morgue'."- The Shepherd
"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheeople's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - The Shepherd
"In the Shepherd we trust, everyone else we monitor." - The Minions of the Truth™
"The darkness of fraud and deception ALWAYS retreats from the LIGHT OF THE TRUTH™!" - The Shepherd
"Everything is better in moderation, particularly moderation." - The Shepherd
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the fraud and the deception of the evil revisionists. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, that shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brother's keeper and the savior of blind sheeople" - The Shepherd
"And the Shepherd said:'Let there be light!' and there was light; the darkness retreated and the truth was revealed!" - An enlightened sheeople
"Baaaaaaa!" - A blind sheeople
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning.... smells like... victory." - Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore
"...I wanna announce my presence with authority..." - Nuke Laloosh
"ARRRRrrrrrrrrGGGGGHHHHH!" - Godzilla
"Sing me a song, and you're a singer,do me a wrong and you're a bringer of evil." - Ronnie James Dio
"Receiver of light, the Kingdom of the Shepherd shall guide you and keep you from a restless heart, Deceiver of night, the revisionist that lies within you is the reason for your restless heart...." -Tony Martin
"We are poor little lambs, who have lost our way. Baa! Baa! Baa!" - The Flock
"...Put the hashpipe down...."-Greg "Hashpipe" Miller
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The administrator has disabled public write access.
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